The Board of Education - highly effective, doubles as a cutting board

*** This is satire and the product is offered as a conversation piece and a gag ***

This multipurpose, engraved wooden cutting board brings warmth and personality to everyday kitchen moments, and just taking this baby off the wall inspires immediate compliance with dad's instructions.

It was inspired by my own father, who was a middle school industrial arts teacher. He handcrafted a much larger engraved paddle that hung proudly behind his desk. Whenever a student wished to challenge my father's shop rules or assert his own authority in the classroom, my father would calmly point to the paddle and ask, "Would you like to take it up with the board of education?"

He also developed a smaller version for home use, where he continued teachable moments and attitude adjustments with three swats:

1. One to get a child's attention
2. One to deliver a message
3. One to ensure the message sticks and remains unforgettable

The smooth, compact walnut paddle with soft rounded handle make it easy to lift from the counter, drawer or wall and use to prepare hors d'oeuvres before the game or bring a swift end to sibling disagreements.

It ages with use, especially when notches are carved into the handle to provide a ready visual reference to its effectiveness as a tool.

Keep it close for casual breakfasts, impromptu cheese nights, weekends spent cooking with friends and family, or when the countdown expires and action becomes necessary.

Product features

• Premium walnut hardwood for durability and rich grain
• Deep laser engraving that becomes part of the wood’s surface
• Made in the USA
• Hand wash only to extends the board’s finish and engraved detail and makes it stand out on the wall

Care instructions

• Hand wash with warm, soapy water
• Dry immediately
• Do not let it soak in water